To the man in the coffee shop who watched me struggle with the door that went PULL instead of PUSH. (I was coming in) Thanks. Thanks a bunch. Thanks for letting me battle with that door and a double buggy. Thanks for sitting there and yelling at me to “push.” You, a mere man, telling the mother of four kids how to push? The irony was completely lost on you. But a sincere and heartfelt thanks to the fella in his 20’s who did open the door for me.
To the yummy mummy who insisted on driving up my arse. What was your rush? We were the only two cars on a straight stretch of road. Instead of overtaking, as you could have, you preferred to dangerously tailgate me. All the way to crèche to pick up your kids. You silly bint!
To the middle aged lady in a “type” of car who blocked an entrance when I had the right of way. Who then drove up another foot or more to further block me, blast the horn and wave me back aggressively when I tried to pull over to allow a school bus to overtake me. We might have been as bad as each other, but you old bitch!
To the lovely lady in the supermarket and all the others before you, who let me go ahead in the queue even though I had just as many items. Simply because I had the kids with me and they all knew “what it’s like trying to shop with them in tow.”
To the driving instructor all those years ago who thought he was a Formula One racing driver. You did nothing for my confidence. You knew I was nervous, you knew I was a learner driver and you still told me I was shite and my car was shite. But thank you. Thank you for honing my asshole radar.
To the lads who pack my groceries in the supermarket. Just a little word to the wise though. I’m only small and I’ve got teeny tiny muscles. So please don’t put all my tinned goods in the biggest bag you can find. I’m not able to hoist it out of the trolley so haven’t a hope of getting it into the car.
Thank you to the lovely lady driver who waited a moment when she saw me walking with two small kids and pushing a buggy. We were heading towards the supermarket where we had parked and she wasn’t to know that I was walking in there. She still stopped and waited until I had rounded the corner.
And a big massive, huge thanks to the impatient driver/s behind her who sat on their horns and blasted her out of it for the very, very long five seconds they had to wait.
Thank you to the lovely lady (Karen) behind the counter in the café where we like to have our morning coffee. She always has a word for our boys and she gives a great top-up. Best cup of the day!