Dear Mother Nature (MN)
I am one of your biggest fans. Sincerely, I am in awe of you. I think you rock. You are a force to be reckoned with and you sure know your shit.
I love how you arrange for our bodies to prepare for nurturing our child before we even suspect that we may be pregnant.
I love how, if left to your devices, our pregnancies will come to their own natural conclusion, be that 38 or 42 weeks and we go into labour.
I love how you hang around for a few days to ensure we stay on that natural high and enjoy all of those feel good endorphins you gift to us on the birth of our baby.
Not loving, however, the minute you leave to attend the next lady in waiting. You bring with you your warm and fuzzy gift, leaving the new mother in a bit of a snotty snivelling mess.
Can you tell where I’m going with this?
I think you’re marvellous, I really do. I love that you’ve given women the multi-tasking gene because god knows we need it.
I think it’s great how you have seen to it we are finely attuned to our baby’s needs; even the tiniest murmur will rouse us from sleep.
Not liking though how you seem to have failed to install that same alarm system in our menfolk. Particularly at night time. Just a little something to remember for future generations. You know, for when it’s time to evolve again.
And as I have mentioned evolution, I think teething could be revisited too. Surely if one child can sail through this, every child can. A little tweaking there would be greatly appreciated down the line. For everyone.
Staying on the pain issue. Chicken pox. Why? Just why?
I acknowledge there are parents out there who would consider teething and chicken pox small fry compared to what their kids have gone through.
But when it comes to the silly beggar stuff, maybe you could see to it that those kinds of things are eradicated altogether.
And what about this boundless energy thing? It all seems a bit unfair to me. I’d like it to be 50/50. At the moment it seems to be 70/30. To them. If it must stay at 70/30, could the parents have the larger timeshare? Please. At least until they are teenagers.
I know, in your infinite wisdom, there is a reason for all of the above. Damned if I know what at the moment but I am looking forward to purchasing my very own pair of rose tinted spectacles in the future.
For now, whilst I am still stuck in the zone, I feel the need to question these things.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for my four gifts. And I do realise they are my gifts.
One day they will release their moorings and sail away from me; to drift towards and onto the next stage in their lives.
Until this time, I ask for them to be kept safe. And for me to get some uninterrupted sleep maybe twice a week.
Thanking you in advance.