World Health Organisation |
So this toddler strapped to my chest is not a real toddler. It is my way of describing how I feel when
I’m a bit stressed.
I was a bit stressed some time back. A good bit.
There. I’ve admitted
it.
The toddler I mentioned above was the pressure I felt and
the vice grips that sometimes made the breath catch in my throat and rendered
me unable to speak.
I had been feeling this pressure ever since the boys went
back to school after the summer break. I
would wake in the morning and within five minutes of rising, feel the steady
and ominous tightening starting up.
It relaxed a little after the school run but returned at the
thoughts of going home.
Home.
To the kitchen. The
cooking. The cleaning. The fights.
The noise. The relentless serving
of others. The next school run. The school bags. The homework.
The snacks. The changing of the
uniforms. The cleaning up. The next school pick up. The lunches.
The fights. The demands for food.
The bedtime. The pairs of pyjamas. The teeth cleaning. The washing of faces and hands. The uniforms again. The laundry.
The last minute bed time snacks.
The bathroom visits. The bedtime
stories. The eventual silence.
But my mind would still race.
I would spend the day watching the clock so I could finally
get to bed to catch up on some sleep; knowing the next day would bring it forth
again.
So when I was in my GP’s I noticed a poster for a 6 week
course in How to Control Your Stress.
Kismet.
It was great. The
counsellor giving the lectures spoke a lot of sense. A lot of common sense.
Be comforted in the knowledge that stress is important. We need a certain amount of it to
function.
It is when it gets out of control and we begin to ignore the
elephant in the room, avoiding social events, meeting with people and isolating
ourselves, that it becomes a problem.
Know that everyone
suffers from stress. Everyone.
But everyone is affected differently and not everyone deals
with it the same way.
I learned not to over-analyse everything. When something happens, feel it, deal with it
but move on.
We cannot change the past, have no power over most of our
future and only to a certain extent, can we alter the here and now.
On a personal note the things that tend to cause me the most
stress are unavoidable.
Those things
would be my kids and their noise levels and the fact they are time consuming
leaving me with little or no free time to enjoy my own hobbies.
Like a lot of things, all the hints and tips looked great on
paper but didn’t translate so well in real life.
But that was my problem and I just needed to find a way around
it.
So I wrote down a list of everything
I do and listed them all in order of importance.
Then I removed the bottom three from my life. It helped me
enormously.
Unfortunately some stresses cannot
be removed from our lives and in situations like these, we need to learn how to
manage them.
Ultimately we are responsible for
ourselves. But I also think it is
vitally important that we are kind to ourselves.
Incidentally the toddler on my chest seems to have clambered
down at present. As much as I enjoyed
the course and found it hugely helpful, it occurred to me that perhaps it was
the ninety minutes of alone time I benefited from most.
Looking back I also found the transition from summer
holidays to back to school difficult. I seemed
to be busier and always in the car. Maybe
it took a few months to adjust.
Either way, my chest feels a lot less tighter at the moment.
Long may it last.
I would like to leave you with a little clip about The Black
Dog which is another metaphor for depression.
This came up during the course of my 6 week course and a lot of people
identified with it.