A little pep talk for the day that’s in it. Because today is as good a day, if not better than any other, for a pep talk.
Are you familiar with the helpful, insightful and profound life affirming messages Facebook likes to share with everyone The ones that proclaim to know the secret to a happy life, telling you how to side step toxicity and just be happy?
The ones that if you adjusted the volume on your computer a little bit, would most likely chirp at you. If they spoke it would be in a bright, annoyingly uplifting, high pitched voice.
If you are anything like me, you find yourself nodding furiously along to 5% of them and telling yourself to make that one your screen saver and stick the other one on your fridge door.
Last summer I saw a brilliant one and I embarked on a fruitless endeavour to source stencils in order to print it on the wall at the top of the stairs. Where I would see it every day.
A whole year has passed and I still think about that uplifting message. But I am no nearer to doing it. In my heart of hearts I know it will never get done.
I enjoy those messages and I can take something from some of them but you know what I have realised?
We don't need them!
When someone says something shitty to you, it is an indication of their own insecurities and they are just taking those out on you. They see something that they like or covet and instead of enjoying your success and happiness, decide to take you down a peg to make themselves feel better.
Does that make any sense at all?
It’s hard and it’s shitty least of all because you come away feeling drained and upset, tired and a bit down for no good reason.
But really what has happened is the person you have just spent maybe only ten minutes with, drip fed their crap into your mind and sucked the warm fuzzies out of you.
So what can be done to prevent this in future?
The minute that person starts to suck the life out of you leave! Take yourself away and don’t allow them to. Take back the power.
If your inner light has been quenched before you even cotton onto what it happening, it’s still not too late.
If you feel like crap, feel it and then push it away. Remind yourself that you have gotten to this part of the day intact and do not allow anyone to rain on your parade.
Then do something nice for yourself. Buy something; to wear, to eat, to read. If it takes spending your last twenty quid on a frivolous treat to make you feel better, do it.
I broke a plate one day to heal myself. And maybe a cup. But it worked. I needed a little outward explosion to destroy the rot that was taking place inside me.
Then, and this is the important bit, stay away from such people.
It may not always be possible and there may be random connections, but if you can at all, make the effort to protect yourself from them.
In the scenario that there is absolutely no escaping their presence, arm yourself against them.
Be reminded of your achievements and good qualities. Breathe slowly and evenly and if conversation is engaged, keep it short and sweet.
Make your excuses as soon as you can and leave their company.
And don’t re-visit the visit. If you get me. Don’t analyse the conversation. Move on and away.
With your last twenty euro in your hand if needs be.
I leave you with this little picture.